Thursday, November 08, 2007

Mum's Gone To...Get Some Fags

"I was smoking 20 a day before I was pregnant and I've cut down to one." Yes - now that you are 4 months pregnant Kerry. But oh no - it gets worse.

The former I'm A Celebrity TV show winner and gurning face of Iceland said she has tried to give up by using nicotine patches but it "left a mark". For f**cks sake, having a slightly red mark on your arm is surely better than forcing your unborn baby to smoke?

Chemicals in tobacco smoke can cause a whole range of problems - from there being a 26 per cent greater risk that the mother will miscarry or experience a stillbirth to the baby being born at a smaller birth weight.
Babies are more susceptible to developing chest infections and asthma, and the risk of cot death trebles with mothers who smoke in pregnancy.

Likewise, binge drinking can lead to foetal alcohol syndrome, which can cause brain damage and facial deformities. Oh look, Jordan's just popped by to say hello. Anyway...La Katona was recently photographed smoking a cigarette outside a pub in Warrington, Cheshire.

At the time it was reported that she downed four Martinis and a vodka during the same night but Katona has dismissed those claims.

"It's nonsense. I did have a drink - I had two," she said.

Katona admitted she was once diagnosed as an alcoholic, she said: "I was diagnosed because I drink when I have problems. But if I go out with my mates, I'm fine." Well, the sad fact is that most people - especially alcoholics

(a) tend to admit to half of what they normally drink

(b) justify why they drink ie: when I'm with my mates I'm fine, when I'm on my own I'm a problem drinker - err - yeees.....

Katona is expecting her second baby. Her first child was born premature and underweight - probably couldn't wait to have it's first real fag or had had enough already.

Either way, pregnant ladies who smoke are all munters in my book but Kerry just happens to have made it onto this weeks Muntometer of Munts for being such a selfish stupid cow.

Munterspace Sponsored by Restylane and Harley Street Clinic (Ugly Plastic Rehab Dept) 2007


Thursday, May 17, 2007

Senior Munter of the Week

Ladies and Gentleman - we over here at Munterspace Inc. thought it would be rude not to give the senior munters out there a bit of an airing this week. Uber-senior Munter of the Week Award this week goes to none other than Kathy Hilton - devastated mother of LA (z)it-girls Paris and Nicky. We say devastated not because her soon to be jailbird babydoll princess is about to enter a 'special needs unit' in a state correctional centre for re-violation of an existing traffic violation but more so because yet again, Paris is stealing the limelight. Kathy always wanted to be famous and bagged her squillionaire as soon as she was out of her prom dress. She fashioned the girls into everything she wanted and apparently failed to be (according to various press reports both in UK and US). Desperate to make it as a model and actress (and not really doing very well at it) she then saw potential mileage-fame in her daughters and thought it would be a good idea to parade them aged 6 in bikini's at a 'fashion show' she was hereself strutting her stuff in.

Bad Mommy Hilton just couldn't help herself and that is why we are presenting her with the fantastic accolade of Senior Munter of the Week. Kathy has arrived! We blame the parents.

(c) Munterspace as sponsored by Krispy Kreme and Restylane


Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Brand New No1 Munter (Warning: Russell Brand)

And you thought Mika-ka-ka was bad?


Congratulations Mr Russell Brand - you are this week's Top Munter!!

© Munterspace 2007
As sponsored by Aldi Supermarkets - the top munters opening appearance location of choice.

PS: We over here at Munter Mansions were going to do Britters but thought she actually looks less like a munter than ever and actually quite nice bald. Get better soon Britters from all at Munterspace Inc. Oh dear - who will Paris's new gakhead friend be now? Mwah mwah.

Sunday, February 18, 2007

This Week's Munter (Warning: bad language alert coming up)

Shut it you munter of musical madness! Us at Munterspace Inc. strongly recommend you do not release any more singles mainly because they are crap and you look like Leif Garrett in a Leo Sayer wig. Ladies and Gentlemen - it's Mika-ka-ka - this weeks prime munter. Munter on Mika. Grace Kelly is no doubt turning in her grave!

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

This Week's Nominee

Me! I am feeling like the munter of all munters due to belated birthday celebs last night. A heady mixture of champagne and red wine was consumed on an empty stomach. Supper consisted of a salami and tomato sandwich at 02:45 this morning when I staggered in Abfab style - smudged eye-liner and messy hair feeling rather jolly.

I have not felt as jolly all day and am getting far too old for this sort of behaviour and really should know better. I am therefore going to have to stand proud alongside the Goody's and Feltz's of this world for one week and adorn the Munter Hall of Shame.

As penance, I am currently available for special supermarket openings such as Lidl, Aldo's and Seven Eleven. Please contact my agent Mr Max Clifford for any salacious press interviews. Cheers my fellow Munts!

Friday, January 19, 2007

Welcome to Munterspace

Us here at munterspace corp. are dedicated to trawling the tinternet for first class munters because let's face - it's full of them. Watch this space for your favourite munter.

Here's this weeks top munter:
Yes Munter Of the Week goes to 'mind me kebab' Ms Goody herself for basically being a bad all-round munter.

Muntometer rating : 9 out of 10
(we'll let her off the final 1 seeing as she can't help the fact she was bullied at school herself and her mother is a nightmare)

More munters coming your way shortly. Write in with your suggestions for the prestigious Munter of The Year Award. Grand ceremony at the Grimsdyke Hotel Conference Suite, Pinner July 1st with great prizes - spend a day with a lookalike Munter, free breast augmentation and trout lip pout lessons, Special K pedometer and lunches by George at Asda - it's simply the best in Munterspace.